Sometimes, holding onto your attachments is selfish.
Not necessarily because you hinder their growth, although this can be true, but because your absence will be the catalyst for their healing and awakening.
You can hold unconditional love towards someone without having them in your life.
Perhaps this is what unconditional love means. It is, after all, to love without conditions.
Without the conditions of attachment.
Consciously letting go of someone you love is not necessarily abandonment, either. Abandonment is a subjective experience.
Letting go is a demonstration that their healing and happiness is more important than your own sense of validation.
It is upholding your boundaries and allowing them to do the same.
It is a recognition that a sense of ownership is always false.
You cannot own someone.
You see, attachment and connection are not synonymous.
You attach with your mind.
You connect with your heart.
In letting go of attachment, we can allow our unconditional love and connection to initiate healing, regardless of your presence in their life.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t miss them.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t be tempted to reach out or to seek ‘closure’.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t create false stories of abandonment, shame and guilt.
This doesn’t mean that they won’t also do and feel the same, or worse.
We are human, after all.
We love attachments, security and validation, even when we see the toxicity.
The toxicity is a drug.
You must be ready for the withdrawal.
The secret is in the awareness of your own selfishness in holding onto the attachments, security and validation they provide.
Recognise when your chapter is complete.
Set them free.
Sending my love,